InuYasha meets the phone
by fetchboy84
Summary: What's it about? Gee I wonder. --; This has become a series of seperate one-shots. Chapter 11, Inu-Yasha meets Buyo (the fat lazy cat) is up!
1. InuYasha meets the phone

Hylo! Yes, this will be one of many one-shots. It is based on something that actually happed to my friend and me. This is all I have to say. Read and enjoy! And review.  
  
~  
  
"That stupid girl! Why is she taking so long?!"  
  
"Inu-Yasha, it's where she lives. You should consider us lucky that she chooses to travel with us so often," Miroku calmly said.  
  
"LUCKY?! It's her responsibility! She's the one who broke the jewel! I'm gonna go get her!"  
  
~  
  
Kagome rushed to find everything she needed.  
  
"Ohhhh! Inu-Yasha's gonna kill me! I think that's everything!"  
  
Kagome yanked her zipper shut and ran out the back door without even bothering to say goodbye to her family.  
  
"Sis! Wait! Mom said to stay here! There's supposed to be a blizzard tonight!"  
  
~  
  
Inu-Yasha leapt out of the well and pulled open the doors to the well house only to be confronted by a flurry of white flakes. Inu-Yasha shielded his face and walked out into the storm.  
  
~  
  
Kagome put her arm in front of her face to fend of the army of tiny white flakes as she walked in what she hoped was the direction of the well house.  
  
'Man! It's snowing so hard I can't even see!'  
  
The wall of snowflakes was so thick, Kagome and Inu-Yasha walked right past each other without even noticing.  
  
'Yes! Finally made it!' Kagome thought as she entered the well house.  
  
"Better shut the doors so that the snow doesn't get in. There! That's better!"  
  
With that, Kagome jumped down the well.  
  
~  
  
'Ha! There it is!'  
  
Inu-Yasha jumped up to Kagome's window and opened it to go inside. Once inside, he closed the window behind him so he wouldn't let the cold or snow in.  
  
'Huh? She's not here. Maybe she's downstairs.'  
  
Inu-Yasha climbed down the stairs to the lower level of Kagome's house. There was no sign of anyone else.  
  
"Kagome?" Inu-Yasha called. No answer.  
  
'Hmph! Where is she?'  
  
He decided that maybe she had gone somewhere and sat down on the couch to wait. Eventually, he felt his eyelids droop and he fell asleep.  
  
~  
  
Kagome climbed out of the well in the feudal era.  
  
'At least it's not snowing here. It's actually kind of nice. Inu- Yasha can wait while I take a walk, at least.'  
  
About an hour later, she walked into Kaede's hut.  
  
"Hi! I'm back!"  
  
"Good day, Lady Kagome," Miroku greeted her.  
  
Sango said hello and Shippo leaped into her arms.  
  
"Where's Inu-Yasha?" Kagome asked.  
  
"Hm? He went to get you," Sango replied.  
  
"What?! But I got here two hours ago!"  
  
"You're kidding! That's when Inu-Yasha left. He should be back by now."  
  
"Don't worry. I'll go back and see if he's at my house."  
  
Kagome pried the clinging Shippo off of her shoulders and left towards the well.  
  
~  
  
"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"  
  
~  
  
Kagome climbed out of the well in her time and pulled on the door, expecting it to come open easily as always. She nearly fell over when it didn't. She put both hands on the door and pulled harder.  
  
'It's frozen shut!'  
  
~  
  
Inu-Yasha woke up and glanced around. He was still inside Kagome's house. He sniffed around. There was still no one in the house beside himself. He decided just to come back for Kagome later. He walked over to Kagome's back door, grabbed the handle, and pulled. The door didn't budge. He pulled harder. All he succeeded in doing was removing a doorknob from a door.  
  
'I swear I'll never understand this era.'  
  
He walked upstairs to Kagome's window next, knowing that that window had always come open easily. He tried to open the window the way he always had. It didn't move.  
  
"What the heck is going on?!"  
  
He ran downstairs to the kitchen window and once again tried pulling it open. Same story. It didn't move a millimeter.  
  
"I'm trapped!"  
  
~  
  
Kagome jumped back down the well and ran back to Kaede's hut.  
  
"Did you get Inu-Yasha?" Sango asked.  
  
"No. The well house is frozen shut."  
  
"That's not good. Do you think Inu-Yasha will be alright?"  
  
"He better not destroy anything!"  
  
Suddenly, a strange ringing noise came from Kagome's backpack. Kagome fished around in her backpack and brought the source of the noise. She punched a button and put the device up to the side of her face.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Kagome? Are you okay honey?"  
  
"Oh, hi Mom. Yeah. I'm fine."  
  
"Oh good. The forecast said there was going to be a huge blizzard and our neighbors have this nice little cellar. They invited us to come over during the blizzard. So, that's where we are. Are your friends taking good care of you, dear?"  
  
"Yes. They are." Kagome decided not to tell her mom about Inu-Yasha just yet.  
  
"That's good dear. Come home soon."  
  
"Bye, mom."  
  
Kagome hung up the phone.  
  
"Who were you talking to, Kagome?" Sango asked.  
  
"Just my mom."  
  
"But your mom isn't even here!" Shippo said. "She's in a completely different time!"  
  
"Yeah, I know."  
  
"So this device allows you to communicate with people in other places? Amazing," Miroku said, fascinated.  
  
"Yeah, that's it! It's called a phone." Kagome gasped. "That's it! I can call Inu-Yasha!" She quickly dialed her home phone number.  
  
~  
  
Inu-Yasha stepped back and clenched his hand into a fist, preparing to break the window. He leapt forward and punched the window with all his strength. CRACK!  
  
"OWWW!!!" Inu-Yasha sat down on the ground, clutching his hand in pain. 'I think I broke something.' He looked up at the window. 'No wonder. It's covered in ice.'  
  
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!  
  
"GAH!" Inu-Yasha jumped up and stared at the object that had just made that awful loud noise.  
  
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!  
  
Inu-Yasha stepped forward and gently poked the phone. (With his good hand.)  
  
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!  
  
Inu-Yasha poked the phone a little harder. It fell off the hook. Silence.  
  
"Inu-Yasha?! Inu-Yasha, are you there?!"  
  
"Kagome?! Kagome, what's happened to you?!"  
  
"It's called a phone, stupid! Pick it up!"  
  
'Oh! I've seen her mom do this before!'  
  
Inu-Yasha picked up the phone and held it up to the side of his face the way he had seen Kagome's mother do so.  
  
"Kagome?"  
  
"You've got it upside down!"  
  
"Oh."  
  
Inu-Yasha turned the phone right side up.  
  
"You better not have broken anything, mister!"  
  
"Ow! Quit yellin' so loud!"  
  
"I'LL YELL AS LOUD AS I WANT!!"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Kagome?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Your era's doors won't open."  
  
"That's because they're-"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Kagome?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Kagome?!"  
  
~  
  
"Oh, great!! The phone cut out!"  
  
Kagome quickly redialed her phone number and  
  
was met with a busy signal.  
  
She hung up and redialed again and  
  
was met with a busy signal.  
  
"**** it, Inu-Yasha! Hang up the phone!"  
  
~  
  
Meanwhile-  
  
"YOU DEMON!! WHAT'D YOU DO WITH KAGOME?!"  
  
Inu-Yasha began hitting the phone and somehow managed to get it on the hook without breaking the thing.  
  
BBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!  
  
Inu-Yasha quickly picked up the phone.  
  
"Kagome?"  
  
"Don't sound so happy to see, well hear, me! You're creeping me out! Don't break anything and I'll come back for you when the blizzard stops!"  
  
*click*  
  
"But Kagome! I'm hungry!"  
  
~  
  
Sorry. Couldn't think of a better way to end it. So did you like?! Review and tell me!! 


	2. InuYasha vs the microwave

All right. Due to the number of requests, I am going to continue this fic. What I'm going to do with it is each chapter will be a different story in itself, but it still follows the original scenario of Inu-Yasha being stuck inside Kagome's house and Kagome being stuck in the Sengoku Jidai. Sooooo. here you go.  
  
Here's review responses for all you people that reviewed the last chapter!!!:  
  
TO ALL!!!! (Meaning everyone that read this story): Please overlook the fact that Kagome's phone managed to call 500 years across time. If you think too hard about this, the story isn't funny anymore, sooooo.  
  
LostDarkness: Hi, again. Um, yeah. This is the review where you said THONKsgiving!!! Remember? HAHAHAHA!!!! Well, I'm gonna stop now before you hurt me.  
  
Mistress of Darkness: Hi!!! Sorry I haven't updated this in a while. I was planning on it being a one-shot, actually, but I got so many requests to keep going, I just had to continue, so here you go!!!  
  
shadowspinner1: Yeah. Like I said, you'll just have to ignore that little detail. Anyway, enjoy the chapter and review!  
  
Bwahahaha: HAHAHAHAHA!!!! You scared your cat!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! I can just imagine!!! Heeheehee! Anyway, enjoy the fic!  
  
Kai-Aki Ti: Heehee! Glad you liked it!! Please continue reading!  
  
SakuraLuna: Wait no longer!! Here is the next torture idea for you!  
  
Inuhugger: Heheh! Yeah, I admit that was a pretty funny way to end it! Thanks!!!  
  
elven dragonlord: Wow! It sure took you a while to find this fic, didn't it? Anyway, just read the fic.  
  
tinnitus: Heheh! Thanks!! Anyway, the phone used in this fic was an imaginary phone, not mine. But your review was pretty funny anyway! I'm glad I made you happy! Thanks for the idea, too! I actually found a way to include that in this chapter!! Thanks a lot!!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inu-Yasha, Kagome's fridge, of Kagome's microwave.  
  
~  
  
Inu-Yasha lay on the ground miserably. He had been stuck in Kagome's era for about four hours now and he was even hungrier than before.  
  
BBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Inu-Yasha leapt to his feet and picked up the phone.  
  
"Kagome?"  
  
"Uh. What?"  
  
"Kagome? Is that you? What happened to your voice?"  
  
"I'm sorry, sir, but my name is not Kagome. I'm calling to offer you a-"  
  
"If you're not Kagome then who the @%#$ are you?! Leave me alone!!!!"  
  
"I-"  
  
Inu-Yasha hung up the phone.  
  
BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
"I thought I told you to-"  
  
"Inu-Yasha? Why are you yelling at me?"  
  
"Oh! Kagome! I- I didn't- I mean-"  
  
"It's alright. Listen, I'm sorry about the way I left off with you a while ago. I was just kinda worried about you being alone in my house and all. Are you doing okay over there?"  
  
Inu-Yasha's stomach chose that moment to state its distress. Loudly.  
  
"Inu-Yasha?! What was that?! Are you okay?!"  
  
"No. I'm hungry."  
  
"Oh."  
  
The only thing that came across the phone for the next minute was the sound of Kagome's insane laughter.  
  
"Kagome? What's so funny?! I'm starving over here!"  
  
"I'm sorry, Inu-Yasha. I forgot about that," Kagome said, still laughing. "Okay, I'll tell you how to get something to eat. You're in the kitchen, right?"  
  
"Uhhhh. "  
  
"Nevermind. Anyway, in the kitchen there's a big white box called a fridge. Do you see it?"  
  
"Yeah. I think so."  
  
"Open the top door. That's the freezer."  
  
"It's not frozen shut, too, is it?"  
  
"No, it's not."  
  
Inu-Yasha walked up to the freezer and opened it. He was greeted by a blast of cold air.  
  
"Gah! I thought blizzards were supposed to stay outdoors!!!"  
  
"It's not the blizzard, Inu-Yasha! The freezer is supposed to keep the food cold so it won't spoil!"  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Now, you should see a couple of microwavable cheeseburgers."  
  
"What's a cheez-booger?"  
  
"*sigh* It's a sandwich, okay?"  
  
"Oh. I think I found them."  
  
"Good. Next to the fridge, there's a black box called a microwave. Just open that, put the cheeseburgers inside, close the door, push one-zero- zero for one minute, and then push the start button. When the microwave beeps, take the cheeseburgers out and then you can eat them, okay?"  
  
"I guess so."  
  
"Alright, then. See you later Inu-Yasha!"  
  
Inu-Yasha hung up the phone and proceeded to do what Kagome had told him to do.  
  
'Now how the heck do I open this thing?' he wondered as he stared at the various buttons on the microwave. He spotted one that said 'open'.  
  
'Oh. I guess this will work.'  
  
He pushed the button and the door to the microwave popped open.  
  
"GAH! Demon!!" he leapt backwards and threw a frozen cheeseburger at the microwave.  
  
The microwave made no other movements. Inu-Yasha then realized that the door was open. He sweatdropped. He picked up the cheeseburger he had thrown. He put both cheeseburgers into the microwave and shut the door.  
  
'What did Kagome say to push? Something and then 'start'. Oh well. I guess anything will work.'  
  
Inu-Yasha pushed five-six-zero-zero and then pushed start. He sat down on the couch to wait.  
  
~  
  
A while later, Inu-Yasha was awakened by a loud bang. He jumped to his feet and ran to the microwave. He couldn't see the inside of it because the window was covered in. something. He pushed 'open'. The door didn't pop open like it did the last time. Rather, it slid open very slowly. The inside of the microwave looked like a cafeteria after a food fight. Inu-Yasha was dead when Kagome found out.  
  
'I'm still hungry.'  
  
~  
  
Yeah. Short chapter, but that's the way things go. Anyway, review please!! And for those of you who haven't already done so, please check out my other fic, Dancing with Demons. 


	3. InuYasha the couch potato

Hiya!!! How are you peoples? Anyway, yeah. Just wanted to tell you that the chapters on this thing may vary A LOT in length, but mostly expect them to be rather short. Anyway, relax and enjoy Inu-Yasha meets the TV!!  
  
Btw, sorry this chapter took so long, but I just finished my other fic, so I'll be paying more attention to this one.  
  
Review responses:  
  
LostDarkness: Did you know that you're the first person to review every one of my new chapters? How much time do you spend on the computer? O_o It took you that long to write a review without mistakes? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I'm leaving before you kill me.  
  
embyrr: Wow. You laughed that long? It was really that funny? Well I can understand if you can relate it to one of your own experiences. It looked and felt like rubber! *falls over laughing* Anyway, you were one of two people who asked me to make a chap about the TV so here you go.  
  
BISHIECOLLECTOR: You really like caps lock, don't you? Wow. Anyway, thanks a bunch for your reviews!! They keep an author going! Keep reviewing!  
  
FREAKCHILD: Man, are you and BISHIECOLLECTOR related or something? You both seem to be in love with caps lock. I'm not making fun of that or anything. It's just kind of noticeable, if you know what I mean. Anyway, I'm glad you like it so much. Please keep reading and reviewing!  
  
Dark Bahamut: In answer to your question, it wasn't really the microwave that exploded. It was the cheeseburgers he put IN the microwave. You see, he was supposed to microwave them for one minute, but instead he microwaved them for fifty-six minutes. So they got a little too hot and, yeah. Anyway, this chap is about the TV like you wanted so enjoy!  
  
Leon Cloud: Thanks for the review! I will end this eventually, but I'm gonna keep this going for a while.  
  
tashy911: Wow! Ty for the great review! Keep reading and reviewing!!!  
  
Luna the Sheikah: Gosh. I feel so loved! You reviewed one of my fics!! You're, like, one of my idols!!! I'm glad you thought him throwing the cheeseburger at the microwave thing was funny. Those are the kind of things I find funny, too. Please keep reading! I await your updates!!  
  
Nehokia Nazaumi: Thanks for the review!!! Please keep reading and reviewing!!  
  
Inu&KagFan: Geez. That's a lot of laughing. I'm surprised you didn't fall over and die or anything. Thanks for being so enthusiastic about my fic!!!  
  
CosmicMoon: Thanks a bunch for the review! Glad you like it so much! Keep on reading and reviewing!!  
  
elven dragonlord: Yeah, sure. You just keep makin' up your little excuses. Busy. Feh.  
  
Whitehair-Dogears: Haha!! Funny review! I liked it!! I laughed when I read it!! Heeheehee. Please continue reading and reviewing!!  
  
WickerB: Thanks for the idea! I actually hadn't thought of that yet (stupid me). I've already got ideas for the next couple of chapters, but the vaccum is a great idea!! I'll try and get to it as soon as I can! Maybe in two chapters? Anyway, keep reading and reviewing!!  
  
Silver Teardrops: Yay!! You read one of my fics!!! This makes me happy. Thanks!!! Please update A Need for Sight soon!  
  
Inuyasha-chibi: Hey!! I know you! I've been reading a couple of your stories (sorry if I haven't reviewed). Let's see, I'm reading Lord of the Whoops and I also read your PS2 thing. Thanks for the review! I laughed at it. Cute poem thingy, too. I await your updates!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Inu-Yasha!! I'm just borrowing him for a while so I can torture him.  
  
~  
  
Inu-Yasha sighed. Things just weren't going his way. He still hadn't gotten anything to eat because that stupid contraption of Kagome's had blown up on him. He once again flopped down on the couch, but this time, his ears were quite suddenly bombarded by an awful noise. He quickly sat up, ready for anything. He saw a black box the front of which was now covered in moving objects. He was shocked when he saw little miniature people moving around inside the box. For a while, he wasn't quite sure whether to think it was a demon or not.  
  
'Wait a second. It can't be a demon. I've seen it in Kagome's house before. It's just never been MOVING before.'  
  
Inu-Yasha became aware that he was sitting on something rather hard. He moved to the side and saw a small black object covered in little round, protruding things. Picking the object up, he discovered that the little round things could be pushed. He also discovered that by pushing them, he could change the picture on the front of the black box. Now, there was a bunch of little people running around on some too-green grass and throwing a brown object back and forth and running into each other.  
  
'This isn't half bad,' Inu-Yasha thought after watching them a while.  
  
~Meanwhile back in the Feudal Era~  
  
'I'd better call Inu-Yasha and see how he's doing,' Kagome thought.  
  
She dialed her home number. It rang once. It rang twice. It rang three times. It rang four times. Then over the phone line-  
  
"Hello. You've reached Higurashi Shrine. We're sorry we can't take your call right now-"  
  
Kagome hung up the phone.  
  
'That's odd. I wonder why he didn't pick up the phone. I hope he's okay.'  
  
~Back at the Higurashi residence~  
  
"Go! Go! Go! Look out for him!!! No! Come one!! Move your ***!!! You can run faster than that!!! YES!!!"  
  
~Back in the Feudal Era again~  
  
Kagome once again tried to reach Inu-Yasha.  
  
"Hello. You've reached Higurashi Shrine. We-"  
  
"What the @#$% is wrong with you, Inu-Yasha?!"  
  
~Back at the Higurashi residence three soap operas, two football games, and five missed phone calls later~  
  
Inu-Yasha turned off the TV. It was staring to get boring and besides, he was getting sleepy. He decided just to sleep on the couch and lay down. He was having a wonderful dream about being one of the people in the little box throwing the brown ball in front of thousands of cheering fans when-  
  
BBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
He leapt off the couch.  
  
"OH @#%&!!!! I forgot about Kagome!!!!"  
  
He ran over to the phone and picked it up.  
  
"K-Kagome?"  
  
"WHAT THE @#^$ IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!!"  
  
~  
  
Yeah. I MEANT to end it there. Now excuse me. I just have to say this.  
  
ALL FEAR INU-YASHA THE COUCH POTATO!!!!  
  
Okay, anyway. R&R. Next chapter's about the saltshaker. And the one after that is the vacuum for WickerB. 


	4. Evil Saltshakers of Doom

Hi ppls! I'm back with another chapter! I don't really have anything to say, so on with the review responses!  
  
Review Responses:  
  
Lost Darkness: ... Uh. Don't really have anything to say.  
  
Luna the Sheikah: HAHAHAHAHA! Funny review! And yes, believe it or not, you are an idol to me! Btw, are you going to be writing any other Inu-Yasha fics?  
  
EvAnEsCeNsE: Thanks for the review!  
  
CometsChaos: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you thought it was so funny!  
  
crazcat416: Hey! You read my other fic, didn't you? Wow! Me happy! Keep reading and reviewing!  
  
Banshee of Death: Who's Gambit? I can't pay $15 for him until I know who he is!  
  
elven dragonlord: NOOOOO! Get him away! He's not supposed to be nice! Get him awaaaaaay!!!!!  
  
bla: Wow! You make me feel special! Thanks for the idea! I'll see what I can do for ya, but it will be a few chapters!  
  
gilbertfan: Lol! Thanks for the ideas! Inu's already met Kagome's alarm clock, but nonetheless, I can still make a chapter about it. Maybe it'll be 'The Revenge of the Alarm Clock' or something. I'll se what I can do! I'll try out your ideas in a few chapters!  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine!  
  
~  
  
"WHAT THE @&$# IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!!!!"  
  
"K-Kagome! What's wrong?"  
  
"I tried calling you FIVE friggin' times! Why the BEEP didn't you answer?!"  
  
"I was watching the little black box."  
  
"You were... what?"  
  
"I was watching the little people inside your magic box."  
  
"..."  
  
"Kagome?"  
  
"*sigh* Did the cheeseburgers work out for you?"  
  
"Uh... no."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"It exploded."  
  
"What did?"  
  
"The cheeseburger."  
  
"I suppose you're still hungry then, hm?"  
  
"Nooo, really?"  
  
"All right. Let me think of something that won't explode on you..."  
  
"Don't you just have a cup of Ramen or something?"  
  
"..."  
  
"Kagome?"  
  
"Boy do I feel stupid. Yeah, I do. Right next to the refridgerator, there's a cupboard. Open it and there should be some Ramen in there."  
  
Inu-Yasha did as he was told and opened the cupboard. His jaw dropped. It was Ramen heaven!  
  
"Inu-Yasha? Are you still there?"  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"Just grab one out of the cupboard. Now, kinda in the back of the kitchen, there's a big box-ish thing called a stove. On top of it should be a tea kettle like the one you've seen me bring to the feudal era sometime."  
  
"I found it."  
  
"Good. It should have some water in it already. Now there's a little knob on top of the oven. Turn the one that's farthest to the right until the nimber ten is on top. Just wait until the water boils and then pur it into your noodles. Then turn the knob back to 'off'. Then wait five minutes and your noodles will be ready for you to eat. Underneath the cupboard where you found the Ramen, there should be a drawer where you can find chopsticks."  
  
"Okay."  
  
Kagome hung up. Inu-Yasha did everything Kagome told him to do, this time without mistake. (A/N: The Ramen must be motivating him.) When his noodles were ready, he sat down at Kagome's table to eat. In the middle of the table, he found a small plastic container filled with tiny white crystals. Curious, Inu-Yasha picked it up and started to mess around with it. He turned it upside down and shook it. Some of the little white specks fell out of tiny holes in the top of the contraption and straight into Inu-Yasha's Ramen. Inu-Yasha shrugged and continued eating his Ramen. To his surprise, it tasted even more spectacular than before! Shocked, he picked the little jar with white crystals up again. He figured out how to take the lid off and promptly dumped the contents of the little jar into his Ramen. Delighted, he got a huge heaping bite of Ramen and put it in his mouth.  
  
Seconds later, he was frantically running around the house looking for some water. He spotted the tea kettle still on the stove and quickly took a swig of water from that. Unfortunately, it was still rather hot.  
  
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!"  
  
~  
  
Poor Inu-Yasha. *Snicker.*  
  
Anyway, I just found out that the number 69 has a rather sick sexual connotation and I just want all you perverted people out there to know that that is NOT what I meant. Anyway, I am going to be changing my penname to fetchboy84 by Monday as a result.  
  
Review please! 


	5. IT WANTS TO EAT ME!

YAY!!! I'm so happy right now!!!! If you wanna know why, you'll be here for hours 'cuz there's so much I'm happy about!!! Anyway...  
  
Review responses:  
  
Lost Darkness: :P  
  
tinnitus: Bathrooms. Interesting. I have a whole truckload of other requests right now, but I'll get to yours as soon as I can!  
  
MirokuHoushi: Thanks a bunch for the review!! I try to update every Saturday!  
  
elven dragonlord: Yay! No Sesshi-ru!! Happy!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inu-Yasha  
  
~  
  
Inu-Yasha wasn't hungry anymore. Just bored. He had been sitting around playing with a rubber band for nearly an hour after he had decided that it wasn't a demon. Then he spotted an odd-looking contraption sitting next to the wall. He walked over to inspect it, being sure to keep a safe distance. The thing didn't have any feet and he couldn't tell quite where the head was. It had a very long, skinny tail that was connected to the wall. Inu-Yasha slowly inched forward and poked the object. Nothing happened. He poked it harder and in various different places. Then all of a sudden the thing gave a tremendous roar. It caught Inu-Yasha's hair and began sucking it in.  
  
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"  
  
Inu-Yasha ran around, trying to get the thing off his hair. He only managed to get his shirt caught as well. Then the phone rang. Inu-Yasha picked it up, still with the "thing" sucking on his hair.  
  
"IT'S GONNA EAT MEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Inu-Yasha, what are you talking about?!"  
  
"There was this- this thing over by the wall!!! I was just minding my own business when it attacked me! Kagome, it's EATING my HAIR!!!"  
  
"Calm down, Inu-Yasha! There should be something on it that says 'off'. Just push that. By the way, there's a hairbrush up in my room. I gotta go!"  
  
Inu-Yasha immediately tried to find the button. It was rather hard because the thing was now practically clinging to his back. He somehow managed to find it and also somehow managed to push it and also SOMEHOW managed to remove his hair and shirt from the contraption (heaven knows how).  
  
He headed upstairs to find the hairbrush Kagome told him about. As he was looking around, he caught a glimpse of himself in Kagome's mirror. Inu-Yasha had one, huge, frizzy Afro.  
  
"AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
~  
  
I had writer's block, could you tell? *sigh* Oh, well! Review anyway, please!!! 


	6. The OTHER box

YAY!! I'm so hyper right now!! Heeheehee... Anyway...  
  
Review responses:  
  
gilbertfan: Really? You have a new cat? I love cats! Right... Well, thanks for the ideas! I have just about two tons of requests right now, but I'll get to yours as soon as I'm done with those ones. I promise!  
  
RISCHEL14: Lol. Thanks for the compliments! ^-^  
  
michelle: Lol! I love your e-mail address! Sure! I'll e-mail you whenever I update this story!  
  
EvAnEsCeNsE: Heehee... Yeah. I had a really bad case of writer's block. Oh, well. Keep reading and reviewing!  
  
Inusama24: FINALLY!!!! Someone who understands! I have TONS of requests, but I like your ideas, too! I never turn down reviewers lol. ^_^ I'll get to your ideas as soon as I can!  
  
Dark003: Don't feel weird! There's on reason to feel weird! Just pretend like you are typing directly to me, 'cuz I will see it eventually! Thanks for the compliments!  
  
elven dragonlord: Thank you. It really bothers me when the paragraphs are all weird like that. Makes it hard to read.  
  
Lost Darkness: I agree. We'll have another challenge after CSAPs, but I have a feeling our old challenge never really ended...  
  
Inuyasha Mistress: That's okay. I understand laziness, believe me. Btw, when are you updating? (I just hate your little cliffies. ^-^)  
  
Disclaimer: WHY?! WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME SO?!!!! Actually, I don't really mind that I don't own Inu-Yasha. If I did, the series would suck... ^-^  
  
~  
  
Now that Inu-Yasha's hair was back to normal (after an hour or so of brushing), the feeling of boredom returned to take its revenge. Having nothing better to do, he decided to explore Kagome's house. He had never really seen anything except Kagome's room and he was now well aquainted with the kitchen. He headed upstairs to see what else was up there. He passed by Kagome's room and then he found another room with the door hanging open quite invitingly. Stepping inside, he found that it smelled all over like Kagome's brother.  
  
'This must be his room,' Inu-Yasha thought.  
  
He also found another one of the box thingies like the one downstairs. That was the one thing in Kagome's house that he actually liked so far, so he decided to mess with this one, too. Looking around, he noticed that there was no set of those button thingies, but there were some on the box itself. He poked the random buttons until the front of the box lit up. He didn't know how to operate the box without the set of buttons, so he decided to see if he could find them again.  
  
'Aha! There you are.'  
  
He picked up the set of buttons. This one was different than the other one. It was designed to fit perfectly into both of your hands and had a wire stretching all the way to another, smaller box. Inu-Yasha shrugged and looked up at the screen. There were two people just standing there with their fists in front of them, but making no move to attack. Suddenly, the word "READY" flashed across the screen followed by the word "GO." One of the miniature people began to attack the other one and Inu- Yasha instinctively clenched his hands, pressing a button in the process. The other dude made a single punch at his opponent. Curious, Inu-Yasha pushed the button again. The guy punched again. Inu-Yasha smirked. He pushed a different button. The guy kicked.  
  
'I think I'm gettin' the hang of this.'  
  
Inu-Yasha immediately kicked the guy into gear and also kicked (and punched) the other guy to a pulp.  
  
WINNER!!!! the box announced.  
  
"All right! This is my kinda thing!"  
  
~A couple hours later~  
  
FINAL LEVEL the box announced.  
  
'Yes...' Inu-Yasha thought.  
  
His opponent stepped onto the screen. It was a huge, lizard thing that looked very similar to a demon Inu-Yasha fought once.  
  
'Hey. I thought I killed that thing. How'd it get inside this box?' Inu-Yasha scratched his head thoughtfully. 'Oh, well.'  
  
Inu-Yasha promtly whooped lizard-dude's butt.  
  
CONGRATULATIONS, WINNER!!!!!! YOU'RE THE NEW CHAMPION!!!!!!  
  
"YYYYEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Inu-Yasha jumped up and threw his controller to the ground, and accidentally reset the game. The screen flashed a couple of times and then the words "ALL GAMES ERASED" appeared on the screen. And then there were those two dopes just standing there, facing each other off again. Inu- Yasha twitched.  
  
"Why, YOU!!!!!"  
  
He picked up a book and tossed it at the box...  
  
...which exploded in a shower of little sparks.  
  
"Ohhhhh, @#%#."  
  
~  
  
Heehee. I think these chapters are getting worse as I go along. I still have writer's block, at least for the whole humor thing. Hopefully I'll get back on track pretty soon.  
  
A NOTE TO ALL ANONYMOUS REVIEWERS: I just wanted to tell you that I will be happy to e-mail you when I update if you want me to. Just tell me in your review and be sure to give me your e-mail address. If you don't tell me, I won't e-mail you!  
  
A NOTE TO EVERYBODY: I have a new fic coming out over spring break, in case you're interested. It won't be humor. It'll be AU, Inu/Kag pairing. Watch for it if you're interested! 


	7. The alarm clock's revenge

Man. I'm a zombie right now. I woke up at 2:30 and never went back to sleep... Hope this chapter won't be boring as a result.  
  
I'm also way too tired to give decent review responses right now, so if your review response sucks, please don't kill me.  
  
gilbertfan: Thanks for the review! I look forward to your series of... thingies... I really am a zombie.  
  
yumenoaoi: I hope I spelled that right. Anyway, that was one of the best reviews I've gotten in a long time! Thanks! And I'll be happy to check out your story! Just curious, do you have an account on ff.net yet? I tried searching for the names that you gave me and it didn't work.  
  
Defafaeth Mechqua: Thanks!  
  
Lost Darkness: Zzzzzzzzzz... Huh? Wha? Oh... Gosh, I'm tired... Zzzzzzz...  
  
Duragan: You read my stories AGAIN?! Wow. I didn't think they were that great! Thanks! I'll get to the stereo, too! Someday...  
  
elven dragonlord: *just sits here staring at the computer screen* Tail: Uhh... Hello? fetchboy? She's sleeping with her eyes open. Creepy...  
  
Inusama24: I'm lacking motivation (and sleep) right now... It's not your fault, though. I'm just WAY tired. I'll try the Internet sometime! It'll be a while, though. Thanks for the review! *falls asleep*  
  
Jochnap: Thanks for the compliment! I needed that. I'm glad to see someone thinks it's getting better! Keep reading and reviewing!  
  
anime fan: Thanks! I'm sorry this took so long. I was too focused on my other fic. Keep reading and reviewing!  
  
Disclaimer: Zzzzzzzzzzzzz...  
  
~Approximately 3:00 AM~  
  
Inu-Yasha yawned. Yep. It was time to sleep (Don't I wish). He flopped down on the nearest soft surface, which happened to be Kagome's bed, and promptly fell asleep.  
  
~Approximately 6:00 AM~  
  
RRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!  
  
"GYAH!!!!!"  
  
Inu-Yasha leapt from Kagome's bed and landed in a defensive stance on the floor.  
  
"Wha- What the-?"  
  
He looked around for the source of the noise and found Kagome's alarm clock (which is still ringing, by the way).  
  
"Oh, it's YOU again. I thought I got rid of you the last time! Oh, well."  
  
He hated to do it because he was already gonna be dead when Kagome got back, but he walked up and hit the alarm clock as hard as he could. Nothing happened. The alarm clock continued to ring.  
  
"What the-?"  
  
Inu-Yasha hit it again. Nothing. He pounded on it repeatedly. Still, nothing. He picked it up and threw it against the wall. It just kept on ringing. Inu-Yasha did just about everything he could think of, but the alarm clock wouldn't shut up.  
  
"WHAT THE @#$% IS WRONG WITH THIS THING?!"  
  
Then he caught sight of a little booklet on Kagome's dresser. Inu- Yasha picked it up and read it.  
  
'The new indestructible alarm clock! No matter how hard you hit it, it won't break! You'll never have to worry about breaking your alarm clock again!'  
  
Inu-Yasha sweatdropped.  
  
'This is just great.'  
  
He set the alarm clock back on Kagome's nightstand and headed downstairs to watch the magic box.  
  
~Later on (the alarm clock is still ringing)~  
  
Inu-Yasha's eyebrow twitched. That stupid THING had been ringing for two hours! Couldn't it shut up already?  
  
~Even later on and the alarm clock is still ringing~  
  
Inu-Yasha wasn't annoyed anymore. He was WAY beyond annoyed. In fact, he was starting to, let say, not really act like himself anymore.  
  
BBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
"I DIDN'T DO IT!!!!!"  
  
BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
'Oh! It's Kagome!'  
  
"Hi, Kagome!"  
  
"Uhhh... Hi?"  
  
"Heehee! How are you, Kagome?"  
  
"I'm sorry, I must have gotten the wrong number!"  
  
"No, no, you didn't get the wrong number! This is the right number, all right! Yep! Sure is the right number!"  
  
"Who are you and what have you done to Inu-Yasha?"  
  
"Why Kagome! *sniff* Don't you recognize me?"  
  
"Inu-Yasha, are you feeling okay over there?"  
  
"Who, me? Never felt better!! *Twitch, twitch* Why do you ask?"  
  
"... Inu-Yasha, what's that ringing noise?"  
  
"That's my friend, Bob! He's a noisy feller!"  
  
"That's my alarm clock isn't it? I set that thing to go off at 6 AM! What is it now, 9?! Inu-Yasha, there's a button on top of the alarm clock, do you see it?"  
  
"Alarm clock? What alarm clock?"  
  
"*sigh* There's a button on top of BOB. Push it."  
  
Inu-Yasha pushed Bob's button. And I guess the sudden silence must have gotten him back to normal.  
  
"Kagome?"  
  
"Yes, Inu-Yasha?"  
  
"NEVER GET AN INDESTRUCTIBLE ALARM THING AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
~  
  
Sorry for the extreme shortness of the chapter. I'm not so sleepy anymore, though!! ^-^ Don't forget to review! And I have a brand new fic out! It's AU, Inu/Kag! Check it out if you have time! 


	8. Guess what? Another box

Hey! Sorry this chapter took so long! I was getting a little over-obsessed with my other fics and I haven't been in a good humor writing mood. But I'm back in business now! ^-^  
  
Review responses:  
  
dragon's kitty: Stupid chopsticks. Tsk, tsk, tsk. My alarm clock is my mother!  
  
Crystal Kitsune: YAY! New reader! *does new reader dance* Thanks! ^_^  
  
KagInuDemon: ANOTHER new reader! *Does new reader dance for you too* Keep reading and reviewing!  
  
Inuyasha Mistress: Yeah. Man, I thought I was gonna die that day. I need a Bob to keep me company (and awake) Update VERY SOON!  
  
remix-69er: Hey! You're reading Freak Show too, aren't you? Neat! ^_^ I love people that read more than one of my fanfics! See you next time!  
  
gilbertfan: HAHAHAHAHA!!! What a hilarious dream! I love dreams like that! I had a dream that I WAS Inu-Yasha once! That was cool! Leaping through trees and stuff... Have you ever dreamt you were flying? Update soon! (P.S. Are you serious I'm the only writer you read?)  
  
Miroku Houshi: Yeah. Inu-Yasha can be kinda weird sometimes. ^.^ Oh, well. Thanks for your marvelous reviews! Oh, and update soon!  
  
ANIME/Inuyashafreak: Thanks! Keep reading and reviewing!  
  
BISHIECOLLECTOR: O_o A kitchen set named Sango? Strange... And no, you can't eat Bob. He's indestructible, remember?  
  
Inusama24: YAY! ^-^ Thank you for the review!  
  
Lost Darkness: No. I just had some time on my hands, that's all. You're so mean! WAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!! *Runs away crying*  
  
NeoTokyo-sailor: Thank you!  
  
EvAnEsCeNsE: ^_^ EEEE!!! Thank you!  
  
punklunargoddess0: Thanks! Your review made me feel special... Keep reading and reviewing!  
  
Luna the Sheikah: Sure you can have Bob's autograph! *Sets Bob down in front of paper* *Waits* *Waits...* *Waits* Uh... Here, Bob, let me sign that FOR you. *Signs paper* There you go! Update soon!  
  
Nikki: Aw... What a wonderful review! Thank you so much! *huggles* I actually wasn't very pleased with chapter 5. I'm glad you liked it so much, though! Anyway, as to chapter 3, he was watching a football game. Please keep reading and reviewing! I love long reviews!  
  
Rekouri Sentusu: Heheh! Thanks a lot! Can't wait for the next review! ^_^  
  
~  
  
Now that he had finally gotten "Bob" to shut up and finished berating Kagome for buying an indestructible alarm clock, Inu-Yasha's incredible sense of curiosity kicked in yet again. He roamed around the house looking for something that would entertain him without exploding. He eventually came across yet another box. Boxes had been good to him in the past, so he decided to check it out, though he would highly regret it later. (You think by now he might have figured out just to leave well enough alone.)  
  
He inspected the box, looking for the 'power' button that seemed to be what brought the boxes to life. He found a knob that said 'volume' and decided that that would be good enough. He turned it until it wouldn't turn anymore and still nothing happened.  
  
'Hmm. Guess that wasn't it.'  
  
He began searching the box again.  
  
'Aha! There you are!'  
  
He pushed the power button.  
  
"WHAT THE @#$&%#@% #@$%?!!!!!!!"  
  
Now, at this time, the belief that kids have about monsters under their beds would have been true because right now, there was an extremely surprised Inu-Yasha hiding under Kagome's bed, golden eyes peering out from underneath. After he had gotten his heart to slow down to a somewhat normal pace and his ears to stop ringing, he crawled out from under the bed. He could feel the entire house shake due to the box that was still blaring downstairs. Poking his head out of Kagome's room, he glared at the box that even from his distance was still hurting his ears and wondered how he would get the thing to quiet down without going deaf. After some thinking (really? He's capable of thought?) he decided the best way to do it would be a quick run in, run out kind of thing. He pressed his ears against his head, clenched his teeth and took a deep breath for confidence before dashing down the stairs as fast as he could. He ran up to the box and reached for the nearest button/knob on it which, luckily for him, happened to be the volume knob. He also managed to turn it the right way and brought the music down to a comfortable volume.  
  
'Hey. That other box was playing this song. I like this song!'  
  
He caught on to the beat and tried to imitate the person he had seen on the "moving picture box." If there had been anyone that happened to be crazy enough to be walking by the Higurashi shrine IN A BLIZZARD and happened to glance in the window, they would have seen a sight that could send anyone to the hospital for busting a lung laughing. Inu-Yasha had found a broom and was using it as a microphone and when the guitar solo came, he picked it up and pretended to play it like a guitar. And his singing... let's just say he didn't take choir class. He was so absorbed in the music, he didn't hear the phone ring, but happened to bump it off the hook while attempting to dance.  
  
"...Inu-Yasha?"  
  
"You won't catch me loving YOOOOOOUUUUUU!!!!!!!"  
  
Then the song ended.  
  
"Inu-Yasha?!"  
  
Inu-Yasha's sensitive ears picked up the sound of Kagome's voice.  
  
'Oh... crap.' He picked up the phone. "Kagome?"  
  
"Inu-Yasha? Was that you SINGING?!"  
  
"Oh crap."  
  
Kagome burst into uncontrollable laughter.  
  
~  
  
Sorry. Couldn't think of a better way to end the chapter. Hope you liked it though! ^-^ I was in a really good humor writing mood.  
  
Review please! 


	9. Revenge MWHAHAHAHA

Hi! Sorry this chapter took so long. I've been VERY busy with school and such. Anyway, hope you enjoy!  
  
And I greatly apologize to all those who have given me requests, but they may take a while. I can't find inspiration for certain objects just now, but a reviewer just gave me an idea that sounds very promising indeed. So, I'm going to write this chapter now and as soon as I get greater inspiration, I will continue on the other requests. My apologies!  
  
Review responses:  
  
kagomegirle: Her DIARY?! You're a genius! I must write this chapter! Thank you!  
  
Inusama24: Again? Hmmm. That's not a bad idea, but first, I should get through the other requests. Thank you!  
  
Lost Darkness: Yay! Tiny Boomerang's on my side! : P Turns to Tiny Boomerang Does that mean you don't hold a grudge against me anymore?  
  
BISHIECOLLECTOR: XD Our ears are doomed!  
  
Duragan: Heh... Sorry to keep you waiting so long! Thanks for the review!  
  
Kage Neko: Really?! Are you serious?! That would be wonderful! Huggles Thanks for the review! I'm glad you like it so much! Hey look! You reviewed twice! Well, I guess I better respond to both of them. Thanks for recommending it to your friends! What's her penname? Anyway, thanks for the fic requests, though it may take a while for me to get to them.  
  
Miroku Houshi: Yeah. No kidding. I bet Kagome won't be asking Inu-Yasha to serenade her any time soon! XD Update soon!  
  
Robin of YJ: Thank you!   
  
beverly AKA SangoTwin: Thank you! You know, I've gotten as far as LOLOLOL (Lots of laughs out loud online) but what does LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL stand for?  
  
crazcat416: Thanks for the review!  
  
Crystal Kitsune: Thank you!  
  
ShadowedFaith: I got glomped! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!!!! Anyway, did I tell you that you're one of my favorite reviewers? Keep it up! (The reviewing, I mean.)  
  
dragon's kitty: Blackmail, huh? Good idea! Hasn't Chopsticks recovered yet?  
  
The-Wind-Dragon-Caller: Thanks for the review!  
  
tinnitus: Wow. Thank you! Um, and what exactly were you looking for when you said not just TV and not just alarm clocks? Just wondering so I know what you're looking for. And, sure, I'll check out some of your other stories!  
  
lilpip: Yeah. Poor Inu-Yasha. But I have to say it doesn't get much better for him any time soon! (Except maybe this chapter)  
  
AmiTai: Thank you!  
  
Disclaimer: My story, not my Inu-Yasha.  
  
Chapter 9: Revenge. MWAHAHAHA  
  
"Come on, Kagome! Quit laughing already! It's not that funny, is it?"  
  
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Kagome!"  
  
"Inu-Yasha, do us all a favor and don't try to sing again, okay?" Shippo's voice came sailing over the line.  
  
"Shippo heard me too?!!!!"  
  
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!"  
  
Inu-Yasha angrily slammed down the phone.  
  
"Stupid Kagome."  
  
He glanced at the radio.  
  
"Stupid box thing."  
  
He though about throwing something at it, but thought better of it. Instead, he decided to go up to Kagome's room to see how he could plant his revenge on her. Stepping inside the room, he began to go through Kagome's drawers, looking for SOMETHING to use against her. He ran across her drawer of personals and quickly shut it, blushing furiously. He wasn't perverted enough to use Kagome's undergarments for his vengeful plans. He opened another drawer. Inside was a little book that said "Kagome's diary." He pulled it out and began flipping through the pages.  
  
'Hm. This looks good.'  
  
He sat down on Kagome's bed, flipped to a random page, and began reading.  
  
Dear diary,  
  
I just hate these nights. I can't seem to get to sleep. I am currently in the Feudal Era. Everyone is asleep except for me. Even Inu- Yasha is asleep. I love it when he sleeps. He looks so cute!  
  
'She thinks I'm cute?' He read the next line.  
  
Just like a little puppy!  
  
Inu-Yasha sweatdropped. He flipped to another page.  
  
Dear diary,  
  
It is so hot! I can't see how anyone can stand it! It kinda makes me feel sorry for Buyo, covered in all that fur. I remember when I was little I used to take all of my clothes off and run around when it got this hot.  
  
The thought of a little toddler-sized Kagome running around with no clothes on crossed Inu-Yasha's mind. He burst out laughing. He turned to another page.  
  
You know what scares me more than anything in the world? Worms.  
  
"WORMS?!!!" Inu-Yasha was sent into another fit of laughter. "The girl who can stand in the face of a demon and yell at it is afraid of WORMS?!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!"  
  
Dear diary,  
  
I had to go to the hospital the other day to get stitches. I bet you wanna know why, huh? It's actually kind of stupid. It was kinda windy that day. I was standing on our porch. I leaned over the railing and pretended I was flying. It was actually kinda fun, with the wind and everything. But then I lost by balance and fell over the railing and onto the ground, flat onto my face!  
  
Inu-Yasha started laughing again. He set the book down on Kagome's bed. He would need it again later...  
  
MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!  
  
So, what did you think? This chapter will most likely have a sequel. I just couldn't think of any other entries to use for Kagome's diary, so if any of you have any ideas, please share them with me!  
  
Review please! 


	10. The toilet and the indoor waterfall?

Hiya! Me hyper! Just had doughnut! Tail: Everyone back away slowly... Please. Me: HHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!! You know, this almost guarantees a good chapter. Btw, VERY sorry about the long wait! I'm lacking inspiration for this story right now.  
  
Review responses:  
  
Luna the Sheikah: Your friends read it too? I feel so honored! I'm glad you liked it so much! Can't wait for your next review!  
  
darakeru kitsune: Thanks for the review!  
  
backsplash007: Great! I'm glad you like it! I look forward to more reviews from you!  
  
punkkagome: Thanks for the long review! Have I ever told you how much I like long reviews? Anyway, if you're looking for bathrooms, this is the chapter for you! I got a request for it a while ago and now I'm finally writing it. Enjoy!  
  
chibiangel24: XD Thanks for the amusing review! Hope you continue reading and reviewing!  
  
MANDY: YAY! I'm planning on making a separate sappy one-shot about the diary. If you want to know more, please see the author's note at the end.  
  
dragon's kitty: XD Memory loss... I will have the sequel in a few chapters for you, so please don't hurt me!  
  
BISHIECOLLECTOR: XD Thanks for the ideas! This IS rated G, though, so if I do use your ideas, I'll have to make them a little less perverted! XD Thanks for the review!  
  
Inusama24: Actually, I've had many people requesting that. I'm making a separate one-shot. See the author's note at the end of the chapter for details!  
  
Duragan: Thank you!  
  
Rekouri Sentusu: Thanks for the review!  
  
tinnitus: XD For some reason, I'm finding all my reviews very amusing today. Anyway, the toilet is in this chapter, though that's probably as perverted as I'm going to get. Thanks for reminding me that simpler objects can be amusing, too. In fact, look forward to the light switch in a couple of chapters! Bye, now!  
  
Kage Neko: Thanks! I still feel so honored that you actually thought my story was good enough to tell your friends about! Thank you!  
  
The-Wind-Dragon-Caller: Wow... Thank you! I'm glad you like my story so much! Your review was a great inspiration!  
  
Disclaimer: SSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGAAAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!!! Inu-Yasha not mine!  
  
----------  
  
Chapter 10: The toilet and the... indoor waterfall?  
  
----------  
  
Inu-Yasha sat on the couch watching the most boring soap opera in the world.  
  
----------A few hours later---------  
  
Still watching crappy soap operas.  
  
----------Even later---------  
  
Now he was upside down on the couch (you know when you have your feet hanging over the back of the couch and your head hanging off the seat and you stare at the TV upside down and your hair looks all funky and your face turns red and... I'll shut up now.) and was watching... you guessed it, soap operas.  
  
----------zzzzzzz---------  
  
Now he was asleep, still upside down, and beginning to slide off the edge of the couch. He finally slid down so far that his head was on the floor and scrunched at an unnatural angle against his shoulder. His back was also bent at a rather painful-looking angle, and I suppose it did hurt because he eventually woke up with a groan. After a while, he managed to get on his feet without hurting himself. He stretched and got the crick out of his neck. He glanced at the TV, which was still on, and turned it off with a yawn.  
  
'Geez. Isn't there anything to DO around here?'  
  
Bored, he once again headed upstairs to find something to do, being stupid enough to ignore what had happened on his previous escapades. He found a very small room across the hallway from Kagome's room. It was very interesting. It had a hard white object hanging from the wall. It had a long silver thing on top of it and two smaller silver things with the letter 'H' on one and 'C' on the other. It had an object Kagome called a 'mee-roar' or something like that hanging above it. Next to that white object was another white object, but this one was sitting on the floor. It was round shaped with some sort of door on it. Inu-Yasha opened the door, thinking it was slightly strange to have a door that opened upwards. The inside of the object was filled with water. Inu-Yasha raised and eyebrow.  
  
'Hmm. To drink out of?'  
  
Inu-Yasha decided that this was its purpose and took a quick drink, using his hands as a cup. Wiping off his mouth on his sleeve, he glanced at the curtain on the far side of the tiny room. He pulled aside the curtain. Behind it was another white object that sat on the floor. It was larger than the other two and was rectangular in shape. The middle seemed to be dug out, making it look slightly like a boat. Inu-Yasha climbed inside, wondering why they had a boat inside their house. He looked toward the wall opposite him. There was another long silver thing and two little knobs that said 'H' and 'C'. The long silver thing had a little knob on top of it. It said 'shower' on it. He didn't really know what 'shower' meant, but he shrugged and pushed the knob anyway. Nothing happened.  
  
Inu-Yasha shrugged again and decided to try one of the other knobs. He reached for the one that said 'C' and turned it. There was a strange noise right before...  
  
"COLD!!!!!" Inu-Yasha shrieked as he leapt away from the water.  
  
He found himself dripping wet in the doorway of the small room. He calmed his pounding heart and stared at the cold water that was still pouring down into the center of the boat-like object.  
  
"I thought it was weird enough that they had a BOAT inside the house, but why in #$% do they have a freaking waterfall?!" he said aloud.  
  
He approached the boat thing and decided that since the 'C' knob turned it on, then the 'H' knob would turn it off. (Kinda makes you wonder if all those 'sit's gave him brain damage.) He turned the 'H' knob. Nothing happened. He shrugged and turned the 'C' knob again. Still nothing happened. Getting slightly annoyed, he was once again very stupid and jumped into the boat thing to try and strangle the living daylights out of the thing where the water was coming from. Number one, he slipped on the bottom of the boat thing. Number two,  
  
"HOT!!!!!!!"  
  
Inu-Yasha once again leapt away, trying to escape the scalding water. He FINALLY figured it out (or maybe he just got lucky) and turned the 'H' knob, turning the waterfall off. Then nature called. Luckily for Inu- Yasha, the phone rang.  
  
"Kagome?!"  
  
"What's the matter, Inu-Yasha?"  
  
"I need to......... you know."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I have to... go."  
  
"Go where?"  
  
"I need to GO!"  
  
"Oh! Well, why didn't you say so?! Okay, upstairs, there's a little room across from mine. There's a little white thing on the floor called a toilet. Go there. And don't forget to lift the lid, okay?"  
  
"..."  
  
"Inu-Yasha?"  
  
"You mean... that's where you... That's what that thing is for?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I think I'm gonna be sick..."  
  
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XD So what did you think? I think that's one of my best chapters yet! To all you people with requests, I promise I will get to them ASAP. Thank you! Don't forget to review!  
  
BY THE WAY, for those of you who read the chapter about Kagome's diary, I'm going to make a separate one-shot that focuses on the romance aspect. Since this is a humor fic, I can't go making it all sappy. I'm not sure what I'm going to call it yet, but when I post it, I'll be sure to announce it here in Inu-Yasha meets the phone. Look forward to it, all ye romance fans!!!!! 


	11. InuYasha meets Buyo the fat lazy cat

Hello, and welcome back to Inu-Yasha meets the phone!!!!!! Now, let me hear it from y'all! Are you... ready... for... INU-YASHA MEETS BUYO!!!!!!!!!!(The fat lazy cat!) But maybe he's not so stupid as he appears... I doubt it, though... ::poke, poke:: Buyo: HEY! Me: Gadzooks! It speaks! Buyo: I'm not an 'it', I'm a 'he'! ::Kirara walks by:: Buyo: ::drool:: Dang, I wish I hadn't been neutered.  
  
Okaaaaaaay, then. Now that that's out of my system! Please feel free to ignore me... I'm feeling weird today...  
  
Btw, I need more ideas for the sequel to the diary chapter. Don't have enough yet. AND SPEAKING OF DIARIES, I know many of you were requesting a romantic chapter where Inu discovers Kag's true feelings for him, and guess what! It will be out by the time you're finished reading this chapter, so don't forget to read it!  
  
No individual review responses this time, just a collective one.  
  
I just want to thank you all so much! I'm glad you've enjoyed this story so much and thank you for all your reviews! Thanks to Duragan, Kage Neko, BISHIECOLLECTOR, Luna the sheikah, Mystical Demon, sentinel28, backsplash007, Lost Darkness, Rekouri Sentusu, Goddess-of-Anime, dragon's kitty, gilbertfan, and AmiTai. Thank you all for your reviews last chapter! Oh, I forgot to tell you all that I hit 100 reviews a while ago. ::sniff:: I'm so happy... 100 reviews is a landmark for a writer... ::sniffel:: Aw, go read the chapter! I'm getting all choked up...  
  
Disclaimer: ::stares at lawyers:: Um... WOOF!! ::lawyers raise eyebrows:: Not good? ::lawyers start tapping feet impatiently:: Darn.  
  
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Chapter 11: Inu-Yasha meets Buyo (the fat lazy cat.)  
  
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Buyo the cat yawned. Buyo the cat stretched. Buyo the cat got up... (Okay, can we just fast-forward a little bit?)  
  
Now what the heck was this?  
  
Buyo looked up at the strange object that was on the couch.  
  
Hmmm... What in the world could it be?  
  
Suddenly, the thing groaned and it twitched.  
  
Ack! It's moving!  
  
Buyo watched for a minute more. The thing made no more movements.  
  
Is it still alive? No, no wait... Dang, it's still breathing.  
  
"Mow..."  
  
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Inu-Yasha awoke when he heard the most unearthly sound imaginable. He quickly sat up and looked around but couldn't figure out what had made the strange noise.  
  
"Mow..."  
  
There it was again! Behind him! Inu-Yasha spun around to find...  
  
Nothing.  
  
"Hmph!"  
  
"Mow..."  
  
"What the-?!"  
  
Inu-Yasha turned around once again and came face to face with the fattest lump of fur he had ever seen. It stared back at him with beady yellow-green eyes. It looked somewhat like Kirara... but not really when you thought about it.  
  
"Mow..."  
  
Geez, it sounded like a dying animal or something. Maybe it was dying.  
  
The furball (or more accurately butterball) on the floor flicked its tail. Inu-Yasha locked stares with it and narrowed his golden eyes. The butterball narrowed its yellow-green eyes. Inu-Yasha narrowed his eyes. Butterball narrowed his. Inu-Yasha raised an eyebrow. Butterball... no, wait, it didn't have eyebrows. Inu-Yasha continued to stare at Butterball and Butterball continued to stare back. This went on for nearly an hour until finally Inu-Yasha jumped up, clutching his burning eyes. After blinking a few thousand times and he could see clearly again, he glanced back at Butterball, who was still staring at the spot where Inu-Yasha's face had been moments before.  
  
'What the-?'  
  
"Hello! Staring contest is over! What's wrong with you?!"  
  
Butterball made no movements. Inu-Yasha waved his hand in front of Butterball's face. Still no movements. Inu-Yasha poked it in the side. Butterball fell over. And lay motionless.  
  
'Oh, crap! I think I killed it!'  
  
Suddenly, Butterball yawned, rolled over, and closed its eyes. Inu- Yasha twitched.  
  
"Hey, you! How dare you fall asleep with your eyes open! You can't do that to me!"  
  
When Butterball made no response, Inu-Yasha kicked it. Apparently, the thing had too much fat protecting it to feel anything. As Inu-Yasha angrily approached it, he accidentally stepped on it's tail. Butterball yowled and launched itself at Inu-Yasha.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
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Buyo leapt off of Inu-Yasha and admired his handiwork. Inu-Yasha was covered in scratches from head to foot and was currently in a state of stunned shock.  
  
Yep, that would just about do it.  
  
Happily, Buyo plodded off to find a nice place to nap.  
  
Inu-Yasha stood staring into space for a moment. Eventually, he toddled over to the phone. Kagome had finally thought to give him her cell phone number in case of an emergency. He picked up the phone and punched in the numbers.  
  
"Hello?  
  
"Hey, Kagome," Inu-Yasha said, his voice cracking a little. "I was just wondering... where do you keep your bandages?"  
  
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XD Poor Inu-Yasha! Don't forget to review!  
  
And also, don't forget, that romantic one-shot I promised you is out! After you're done reviewing, you can just click on my penname at the top of the page if you're interested. You'll find the story on my profile page, obviously. Thanks! 


	12. JOL, Japan OnLine

Well, folks, guess what! IYMTP is back! Sorry about the long wait (very sorry) but I've been lacking both motivation and inspiration for this story lately. Just recently, though, ideas once more started popping into my head for this story. So, bingo, I had the inspiration! But the motivation wasn't quite kicking in. And that's when one of my wonderful fans actually sent an e-mail to me wondering why I had stopped writing and requesting that I continue. And voila! There was the motivation! That wonderful fan was none other than duragan! In thanks for giving me the spark I needed to continue, this chapter is dedicated to duragan and at duragan's request will be Inuyasha meets the computer, the dreaded fourth box!

And thanks to all you wonderfully devoted, wonderfully patient reviewers!

I also found this weird reply thing on all the review, so I'll be doing that instead of the usual review responses, since I've heard rumors of kicking people off for doing review responses in the stories.

And so, my wonderful readers, enjoy the next installment of Inuyasha meets the phone!

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The long awaited chapter 12: JOL, Japan On-Line

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Inuyasha, bedecked with bandages, emerged from the bathroom at long last after an hour of patching himself up after his encounter with Buyo. He trudged through the house with a kind of slow, resigned plod. This 'staying and Kagome's house' thing was getting really old, _really _fast. He let his feet take him where they would. He didn't really care. That is, he didn't care _until_ he tripped.

Inuyasha shot his hand out and caught himself on the nearest object before he actually fell. He glared at the culprit. It was a strange gray rope, much like the one attached to the monster that had tried to eat his hair earlier. He glared at it and cursed it, but didn't want to take the chance of attacking it, lest it strike back. He then noticed a persistent beeping noise coming from his left. He turned his glare upon the source of the sound. It seemed to be coming from yet _another _one of Kagome's box contraptions. He removed his hand from the desk he had caught himself on in order to investigate, but as soon as he did, the beeping stopped. Utterly confused, Inuyasha looked down at where his hand had been. There was a long rectangular object sitting on the desk, covered in protruding objects with letters on them. He poked one of them and a strange, unearthly music filled the air, before dying away. Inuyasha, who had ducked behind a wall in preparation for the worst, poked his head around the corner. The front of the box was glowing, much like the moving picture box downstairs which he liked so much. Inuyasha approached this new magic box and sat down in the chair in front of it. Suddenly, the box spoke in a loud, low voice.

"Welcome! Please log in!"

Inuyasha jumped at the sudden voice. "Demon!" he shouted, but then reminded himself that this was just another one of Kagome's many strange things. Her 'tame' demons.

He calmed down and stared at the front of the box. It did nothing.

'Wait,' Inuyasha thought. 'A log? What the heck am I supposed to do with a log!'

He decided to ask the talking box. "What the #$ do you mean, 'log in'!"

The box did nothing. Inuyasha glared at it, and then discovered that the box had words on the front. (None too bright, is he?). They read:

**Please log in**

**Name:**

**Password:**

Inuyasha still had no idea what 'log in' meant, but he knew what his name was, so he pushed the little letters on the rectangle thing below, and his name appeared on the box.

**Please log in**

**Name: inuyasha**

**Password:**

He didn't know what a 'password' was either, so he just typed in his name again. The box said loudly, "Incorrect password!" and left the "password" box blank. Inuyasha glared at it, and tried Kagome's name instead. The box delivered the same message. Inuyasha tried the names of the rest of Kagome's family, then moved on to Sango, Shippo, Miroku, Kirara, Kikyo (yeah, right), Naraku (again yeah right), and as many other names as he could think of before finally he tried 'Shikon no Tama.' The box made some weird clicking noises and then the strange music blared again, followed by the voice.

"Welcome, Kagome!"

Inuyasha twitched. "Hey, I'm not Kagome! My name's Inuyasha, I already told you that!"

The box ignored him and said, "You've got mail!"

"Mail?" Inuyasha questioned. He glanced around. "I don't see any mail!"

Suddenly, the box made a weird noise and words appeared on the screen inside a little box. Inuyasha read them. It said:

**kagome!**

"I'm not Kagome!" Inuyasha yelled.

The box made the weird noise again and more words appeared below the first.

**long time no chat!**

More weird noises and two more little boxes appeared, both with words in them. One said:

**Kagome!**

The other said:

**hey, kagome!**

Inuyasha grasped the box and shook it. "I! AM! NOT! KAGOME!"

**kagome you'll never believe what happened! that cute guy i liked asked me out! isn't that awesome? omg, he's so hot! (heart)**

**Are you feeling better yet, Kagome?**

**kagome you've gotta hear this joke that I heard a few days ago. it's so funny! lol lol lol! (smiley face)(smiley face)**

Inuyasha continued to be bombarded by the noises and the messages that followed.

**kag r u there? y aren't u writing back? (frowny pouty face) lol, jk**

**Our math teacher gave us this killer project for the weekend. Hopefully this blizzard will delay school so I can get it done!**

**so this guy walks into a bar**

Yet another box appeared, this one labeled "Hojo."

**kagome! my mom bought you some medical tea. do you want me to bring it over once the snow stops?**

**and he says to the bartender 'i don't know, i'll never understand women' lol isn't that funny? lmao (laughing/constipated smiley face)**

**kagome? really where r u?**

"Stop!" Inuyasha yelled at the box, covering his ears against the bombardment of noises.

The box ignored him and continued to send out messages. Finally, enraged, Inuyasha decided that the only way to communicate with the stubborn demon-box was through the strange lettered contraption attached to it. He punched in the letters:

**shutupimnotkagome**

The box ceased to make noises and the messages stopped appearing. Satisfied with himself, Inuyasha sat back in the chair with a smug look on his face. And then…

**you're not kagome?**

**who r u then?**

**Oh, sorry, whoever you are.**

**um… ok, bye**

Inuyasha twitched at the arrival of the new messages. He punched more of the letters.

**Itoldyoutoshutupdemon**

**Demon?**

**what are you talking about?**

**Is this Sota?**

**noimnotsotayoustupiddemon**

**if youre not sota, who are you?**

**tell kagome i said hi**

**I don't get it, who am I talking to?**

It was about this point that Inuyasha gave up and left the room, leaving the box happily chatting away.

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The moral of the story is, never get into an IM conversation like this one (points).

Ha ha! I know so many people who hate the, and I quote, "Abomination known as instant messaging." I'm not one of them, but it's still fun to make fun of things like this. Anyway, hope you enjoyed. Review! And thanks for waiting so long!

**INTERESTED IN BEING A BETA READER?**

I'm going to be expanding my writings a little bit into other categories besides Inuyasha, and I'm looking for a beta reader for one of my stories. The category is Danny Phantom (Yes, I KNOW, I'm a geek, but hey, it's a good show. My sister got me hooked, and there's a lot of great fanfic material in that show). Anyway, half of you people probably don't even know what I'm talking about, but if you DO and if you like that category, please leave your e-mail address in a review telling me you're interested in beta reading for me or send me an e-mail with the subject "beta reader." My e-mail address is on my bio page. I would be forever in your debt if you agreed!


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